What is the problem? I know it's disgustingly hot outside but seriously-- 300 Boy Scouts falling out from exhaustion during this so-called Jamboree? It makes me want to laugh but that makes me feel slightly evil.
And does it seem weird to anyone else that only record numbers of Boy Scouts are being treated for heat related illnesses? All in this same place? Don't you think that if it's 100 degrees outside these Scout leaders should maybe not have the kids sitting around in the sun for hours on end. Also, the other stories in about people getting too hot all involve at most 10 or so people in one location. 300? 300 little boys? There's something else going on here. Something WEIRD.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Friday, July 22, 2005
What Not To Do When Sick
So when you find yourself on your couch at 8pm with a temperature of almost 102 degrees there are certain things you SHOULD do and many more things that you SHOULD NOT.
The Shoulds
1. Watch Extreme Makeover until the end. Yes, you need to see what they turn these people into no matter how much you make fun of reality TV
2. Eat from the random assortment of food choices in your apartment to avoid going outside to the store. If this means tuna fish and cream cheese on toast with a side of cheese puffs and chopped asparagus, roll with it.
3. Sit directly in front of the air conditioner and drink every last drop of water from the bottle of Evian your roommate left in the fridge.
4. Check your email obsessively even though you only really get emails during work hours.
5. Make sure your phone is not on silent. You just checked it and it was definitely on ring but check again just to make sure.
The Should Nots
1. Don't say yes to your really hot cute neighbor when he calls to ask if you want to smoke delicious apple-molasses flavored tobacco out of his new hookah. Your throat hurts, remember?
2. Don't tell yourself on your way down the stairs that it's fine that your temperature is over 100. You have your bottle of water and smoking a little will be fun. You need to relax.
3. Don't smoke out of that hookah for an hour and a half while getting increasingly more fucked up and also watching Hooking Up, that new show on ABC and silently wondering if that's how retarded you looked during that series of internet dates you tried last winter.
4. Don't continue to smoke after that show goes off and then turn to the Chappelle Show. You know you won't want to leave until it's over. And if the hookah's still going you can't just stop. You always finish what you start. That's why you're a winner.
5. Don't wander aimlessly back up to your apartment and take your temperature again. It's still over 100. Oh dear-now it's 101.
6. Think twice about making that Stouffer's French Bread pizza. Yes, it is tasty but it's going to take 30 minutes in the stove and you are hungry now. Actually--it's okay. Seinfeld is on and your roommate just called to say she's buying cheese and crackers at the deli downstairs. Yum. You can eat that too.
Heed my advice and maybe unlike myself, you won't still be sick the next day.
The Shoulds
1. Watch Extreme Makeover until the end. Yes, you need to see what they turn these people into no matter how much you make fun of reality TV
2. Eat from the random assortment of food choices in your apartment to avoid going outside to the store. If this means tuna fish and cream cheese on toast with a side of cheese puffs and chopped asparagus, roll with it.
3. Sit directly in front of the air conditioner and drink every last drop of water from the bottle of Evian your roommate left in the fridge.
4. Check your email obsessively even though you only really get emails during work hours.
5. Make sure your phone is not on silent. You just checked it and it was definitely on ring but check again just to make sure.
The Should Nots
1. Don't say yes to your really hot cute neighbor when he calls to ask if you want to smoke delicious apple-molasses flavored tobacco out of his new hookah. Your throat hurts, remember?
2. Don't tell yourself on your way down the stairs that it's fine that your temperature is over 100. You have your bottle of water and smoking a little will be fun. You need to relax.
3. Don't smoke out of that hookah for an hour and a half while getting increasingly more fucked up and also watching Hooking Up, that new show on ABC and silently wondering if that's how retarded you looked during that series of internet dates you tried last winter.
4. Don't continue to smoke after that show goes off and then turn to the Chappelle Show. You know you won't want to leave until it's over. And if the hookah's still going you can't just stop. You always finish what you start. That's why you're a winner.
5. Don't wander aimlessly back up to your apartment and take your temperature again. It's still over 100. Oh dear-now it's 101.
6. Think twice about making that Stouffer's French Bread pizza. Yes, it is tasty but it's going to take 30 minutes in the stove and you are hungry now. Actually--it's okay. Seinfeld is on and your roommate just called to say she's buying cheese and crackers at the deli downstairs. Yum. You can eat that too.
Heed my advice and maybe unlike myself, you won't still be sick the next day.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
My August Article
For those of you who don't know, I submit articles monthly to this online mag called Hot Psychology. You have to pay for it online so I try to send it out to as many people as possible since I get free issues. I write about sex and relationships which means that yours truly is a little Carrie Bradshaw in the making (I even have a new iBook to prove it)
Here's my article that will be in next month's issue--let me know what you think!
Welcome to My Baggage
She keyed your car and cloroxed all your clothes. He fucked your best friend in your bed, on your couch, and on top of the stove in your kitchen. You’ve been in almost four serious relationships since graduating college and they’ve all ended because “you have issues, and I’m not at a point to deal with them right now.”
“Welcome to my baggage.”
That’s one phrase that I’ve learned since moving to New York two years ago. One that has stayed with me, and one that I usually have to use during the course of the relationships I’ve had here in the city.
New York is a city full of selfish people. We want what we want when we want it how we want it. We want bigger and better. Success by the age of 30 is not an option but a requirement of citizenship. We arrive with BAs, MBAs, and ABJs in adversting, business and communications in hand, ready to conquer the world. We want the duplex in Tribeca, the SoHo loft, the West Village townhouse, and we want it now. If we wanted mediocrity we would have stayed in the mundane suburbia of whatever second-tier city we migrated from. With so many Type-As crammed into a space as small as Manhattan the issue-laden abound and chances are that guy you met at your friend’s art opening has baggage spilling out of his ass.
Unless you’re twelve and embarking on your first quasi-meaningful relationship, every date you have from here on out will more than likely be with someone who has, for lack of a better term—“some baggage.” Once we’ve reached our mid-twenties it’s highly improbable that we will be anyone’s “first love.” Lest you forget, your first love happened back when you accidentally lost your virginity at age sixteen in the rec room of your first boyfriend, who definitely wasn’t your boyfriend at the time but did introduce you to the fact that kool-aid and vodka don’t and never will mix. By 25, we’ve had high school sweethearts and college romances and more than a few broken hearts So don’t bank on that new amazing person you’ve been seeing for two weeks to be completely issue-free. There’s always a psycho ex somewhere in the back story of two years ago and there’s always The Reason Behind The Divorce. Add to these various issues and veritable pounds of baggage the fact that I along with a few million other single kiddies are living in New York City and you have what I like to call the NYC Mix-Up. To the naked eye we are a city of self-centered egocentric social climbers who stop at nothing until everything we touch is coated in success even if that means stepping on the hands of a few hundred two years olds in the process. We stop at nothing to get what we want. Which explains why so many of us are still single. We go into possible relationships knowing that our last boyfriend cheated because he was an asshole and also because in the last year of the relationship, we ceased communication which was one of the reasons he started sleeping with his coworker. But still we expect Mr. Right Now to have absolutely no Miss Used To Bes slouching around in the background leaving quasi-psychotic messages on his machine. We expect him or her to be glistening with perfection, doing all the right things, all the right way.
It’s here that we take a little detour into Reality. Relationships are about growing. You meet, you like. You like some things a lot, other things not so much. You break up because things aren’t right and you start again. The mistake most of us make when starting again is simply not remembering what led to the last break up. True, all relationships are different but by the time a person reaches the quarter century mark, your personality, your self is pretty much in tact and where it needs to be, for better or for worse. This baggage that we take from boyfriend to boyfriend, or girlfriend to girlfriend, we need to view this not as something that’s holding us back and weighing us down. It’s not some burden to bear. Baggage is just the accumulation of knowledge gleaned from prior experience. Learn from your past and know that it’s okay to have one. Recognizing one’s own faults is the first step in being able to accept another’s. Everyone’s got some kind of baggage and accepting only perfection will lead to a lifetime of unfulfilled expectations. As I stated before, relationships are about growing. Instead of prefacing a conversation with “Welcome to my baggage” while you’re at Cipriani with some new hot cassanova, why not try “Hey—I’m a real person, with real issues and if we’re going to be in this together, you have to take me, the good and the bad. . . .and I have to take you too.”
Only try not and let that come out on the first date.
Here's my article that will be in next month's issue--let me know what you think!
Welcome to My Baggage
She keyed your car and cloroxed all your clothes. He fucked your best friend in your bed, on your couch, and on top of the stove in your kitchen. You’ve been in almost four serious relationships since graduating college and they’ve all ended because “you have issues, and I’m not at a point to deal with them right now.”
“Welcome to my baggage.”
That’s one phrase that I’ve learned since moving to New York two years ago. One that has stayed with me, and one that I usually have to use during the course of the relationships I’ve had here in the city.
New York is a city full of selfish people. We want what we want when we want it how we want it. We want bigger and better. Success by the age of 30 is not an option but a requirement of citizenship. We arrive with BAs, MBAs, and ABJs in adversting, business and communications in hand, ready to conquer the world. We want the duplex in Tribeca, the SoHo loft, the West Village townhouse, and we want it now. If we wanted mediocrity we would have stayed in the mundane suburbia of whatever second-tier city we migrated from. With so many Type-As crammed into a space as small as Manhattan the issue-laden abound and chances are that guy you met at your friend’s art opening has baggage spilling out of his ass.
Unless you’re twelve and embarking on your first quasi-meaningful relationship, every date you have from here on out will more than likely be with someone who has, for lack of a better term—“some baggage.” Once we’ve reached our mid-twenties it’s highly improbable that we will be anyone’s “first love.” Lest you forget, your first love happened back when you accidentally lost your virginity at age sixteen in the rec room of your first boyfriend, who definitely wasn’t your boyfriend at the time but did introduce you to the fact that kool-aid and vodka don’t and never will mix. By 25, we’ve had high school sweethearts and college romances and more than a few broken hearts So don’t bank on that new amazing person you’ve been seeing for two weeks to be completely issue-free. There’s always a psycho ex somewhere in the back story of two years ago and there’s always The Reason Behind The Divorce. Add to these various issues and veritable pounds of baggage the fact that I along with a few million other single kiddies are living in New York City and you have what I like to call the NYC Mix-Up. To the naked eye we are a city of self-centered egocentric social climbers who stop at nothing until everything we touch is coated in success even if that means stepping on the hands of a few hundred two years olds in the process. We stop at nothing to get what we want. Which explains why so many of us are still single. We go into possible relationships knowing that our last boyfriend cheated because he was an asshole and also because in the last year of the relationship, we ceased communication which was one of the reasons he started sleeping with his coworker. But still we expect Mr. Right Now to have absolutely no Miss Used To Bes slouching around in the background leaving quasi-psychotic messages on his machine. We expect him or her to be glistening with perfection, doing all the right things, all the right way.
It’s here that we take a little detour into Reality. Relationships are about growing. You meet, you like. You like some things a lot, other things not so much. You break up because things aren’t right and you start again. The mistake most of us make when starting again is simply not remembering what led to the last break up. True, all relationships are different but by the time a person reaches the quarter century mark, your personality, your self is pretty much in tact and where it needs to be, for better or for worse. This baggage that we take from boyfriend to boyfriend, or girlfriend to girlfriend, we need to view this not as something that’s holding us back and weighing us down. It’s not some burden to bear. Baggage is just the accumulation of knowledge gleaned from prior experience. Learn from your past and know that it’s okay to have one. Recognizing one’s own faults is the first step in being able to accept another’s. Everyone’s got some kind of baggage and accepting only perfection will lead to a lifetime of unfulfilled expectations. As I stated before, relationships are about growing. Instead of prefacing a conversation with “Welcome to my baggage” while you’re at Cipriani with some new hot cassanova, why not try “Hey—I’m a real person, with real issues and if we’re going to be in this together, you have to take me, the good and the bad. . . .and I have to take you too.”
Only try not and let that come out on the first date.
I'm sick
I'm sick today. And it totally sucks. All I need in my life right now is health. And perhaps $1000. I could definitely make due with $1000.
I think that one of the worst feelings ever is being sick and looking at the clock and knowing that you still have 4 more hours of work to go.
However, one of the best feelings is knowing that it's Thursday and that tomorrow is Friday and that there are fun parties tonight that you're going to no matter how sick you are.
Welcome to my blog
So I finally gave in. Here it is. Brandy's blog. Now, you, all of you, can get that oh so needed private peek into my oh so secret life. Ha.
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