Have fun learning about me.
Who are you? Using TWO WORDS ONLY:
1. Yourself:
so fun
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend:
leonardo dicaprio
3. Your hair:
not manageable
4. Your mother:
text paging
5. Your Father:
bootleg dvds
6. Your Favorite Item:
anything alcoholic
7. Your dream last night:
Prom 99
8. Your Favorite drink:
vodka grapefruit
9. Your Dream Car:
honda element
10. The Room You Are In:
my corner
11. Your Ex:
too many
12. Your fear:
cave creatures
13. Where you want to be in 10 years:
richly famous
14. Who you hung out with last night:
Hot Man
15. What You're Not:
A boy
16. Your Best Friend(s):
Chris and Donovan
17. One of Your Wish List Items:
Teen Witch
18. The Last Thing You Did:
ate Smartfood
19. What You Are Wearing:
True Religion
20. Your Favorite Weather:
Hot Summers
21. Your Favorite Book:
Babysitters Club
22. The Last Thing You ate:
fresh mozerella
23. Your Life:
pretty amazing
24. Your Mood:
lightly fun
25. Your body:
really hot
26. What are you thinking about right now:
Star-shaped Post-its
27. Your Crush:
curlyhaired jew
28. What are you doing at the moment:
bouncing around
29. Your summer schedule:
fantastic party
Thursday, August 31, 2006
My Wednesday Night
The night before last, I saw a late movie and then went out for drinks and talking and didn't end up in bed until 4am. Needless to say, I was really tired yesterday at work. Circa 4pm I was ready to throw the towel in and go home and sleep. But then I actually got off and suddenly I wasn't tired anymore.
In the space of about ten minutes, I was no longer going home to sleep but going home to meet my friends who were waiting there with 40s of Coors Light and fruity wine. Because God was totally loving me yesterday, on my way to this impromptu party at my apartment, my phone rang and it was Mr. Totally Fine from Saturday night--he witnessed my barfing. So he also comes over too and that was awesome because all my friends were like "HE'S SO HOT!" and that's something I never tire of hearing about guys I go out with.
There is discussion of whether we ant to go to a comedy show or go to a party. We ended up at an open bar/free food party over on Laguardia Place and Bleecker Street in the heart of NYUville. We told the girl at the door that we got the invite from "David." She then asked if we wanted wristbands.
Me: "Do we need wristbands to drink?"
Doorgirl: "No, you need them if you want to talk to David."
So of course we all got wristbands.
We hadn't been inside five minutes when a guy comes up to me and says hi and that he's David. So the wrsitband means that David comes to you.
I have two drinks at this shindig, I dance a little, and I smile a lot at Mr. Hot Stuff. The two of us decide that it's time to head back to my apartment so we say goodbye to my friends and roll out.
Mr. So Attractive and I are walking down East 2nd Street two blocks from my apartment and I hear someone call my name. We're right outside of this really cute Italian place and I turn to see who's calling me and discover that it none other than The One Who Got Away, aka, my crush from two weeks ago who just kind of stopped returning my calls.
He was looking totally cute and after the initial shock we made small talk and I introduced him to the hot man beside me. I was thinking the whole time, "I am SO GLAD I'm with a hot guy right now!!" since The One Who Got Away was sitting with another girl. I also like to think that maybe I saw a little tinge of regret in his eyes that I was with this other guy who was obviously not my brother. My thought was, All you had to do was call me back. This could have been you, pal.
Mr. Cutie Pie and I continued on our way back to my place and after he left later on last night I decided that I'd learned a very important lesson.
In the space of about ten minutes, I was no longer going home to sleep but going home to meet my friends who were waiting there with 40s of Coors Light and fruity wine. Because God was totally loving me yesterday, on my way to this impromptu party at my apartment, my phone rang and it was Mr. Totally Fine from Saturday night--he witnessed my barfing. So he also comes over too and that was awesome because all my friends were like "HE'S SO HOT!" and that's something I never tire of hearing about guys I go out with.
There is discussion of whether we ant to go to a comedy show or go to a party. We ended up at an open bar/free food party over on Laguardia Place and Bleecker Street in the heart of NYUville. We told the girl at the door that we got the invite from "David." She then asked if we wanted wristbands.
Me: "Do we need wristbands to drink?"
Doorgirl: "No, you need them if you want to talk to David."
So of course we all got wristbands.
We hadn't been inside five minutes when a guy comes up to me and says hi and that he's David. So the wrsitband means that David comes to you.
I have two drinks at this shindig, I dance a little, and I smile a lot at Mr. Hot Stuff. The two of us decide that it's time to head back to my apartment so we say goodbye to my friends and roll out.
Mr. So Attractive and I are walking down East 2nd Street two blocks from my apartment and I hear someone call my name. We're right outside of this really cute Italian place and I turn to see who's calling me and discover that it none other than The One Who Got Away, aka, my crush from two weeks ago who just kind of stopped returning my calls.
He was looking totally cute and after the initial shock we made small talk and I introduced him to the hot man beside me. I was thinking the whole time, "I am SO GLAD I'm with a hot guy right now!!" since The One Who Got Away was sitting with another girl. I also like to think that maybe I saw a little tinge of regret in his eyes that I was with this other guy who was obviously not my brother. My thought was, All you had to do was call me back. This could have been you, pal.
Mr. Cutie Pie and I continued on our way back to my place and after he left later on last night I decided that I'd learned a very important lesson.
Always make sure you're walking with a hot guy ladies.
You never know who you might run into.
You never know who you might run into.
Resume Don'ts
I'm sorting through resumes now for a couple of open positions we have here at my show. Going through resumes is one of my least favorite things to do. Especially because the open positions are for TV jobs and everyone is trying to get a piece.
I've gotten an assortment of hilarious cover letters which I'll share with you now. Please note the excessive use of hyberbole as well as the guy who refers to himself in the third person.
I've got about 80 more resumes to go. But I'm leaving early today so karma is balancing itself out.
I've gotten an assortment of hilarious cover letters which I'll share with you now. Please note the excessive use of hyberbole as well as the guy who refers to himself in the third person.
- "One of my mentors once told me that a BS in Production is the media
equivalent to finishing Elementary School—with the same people day after
day, you lay down preliminary tracks in a multitude of skills and gain
confidence in abilities. What I found was somewhere to combine artistic
vision with technical prowess— Video Production." - "Dear Brandy Crawford,
Enthusiastic, goal-oriented, reliable, and conscientious undergraduate
student seeking a position which will further develop his career
objectives as well as provide him with the opportunity to contribute
skills already possessed. Highly-energetic and dependable worker whose
willing attitude contributes to any team and organization. Gets along
well with others and works as part of a team to achieve goals and meet
deadlines especially in fast pace environments. Multilingual in English,
Creole and conversational French." - "I am very current with all that is happening in the entertainment
industry. I have acquired lots of knowledge in my four years of school and various internships and freelance jobs and would love to put all of the skills I have learned into helping assist your company" - "Dear Brandy Crawford,
Hoping that this reaches you in the best of health and spirits, I am
writing to inquire about the [open] position at [your company]."
I've got about 80 more resumes to go. But I'm leaving early today so karma is balancing itself out.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Eat something Michelle
If you didn't catch Celebrity Duets last night, you missed a funny time. This is a show where more C-list celebs are resurrected for one last stand. Apparently, lots of old TV stars and used-to-be famous atheletes can also sing. So this show pairs them with a surprise Real Celeb Singer and then America votes to say who will stay and who will go.
America LOVES voting shows. We elect Bush when we go to the polls, but it's also thanks to our awesome public that we have Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken.
Anyhoos--the celebs on the show are NOT the best singers and it's a bit painful watching accomplished singers like Gladys Knight and Smokey Robinson try and hold on while singing with an out off tune Chris Jericho and/or Lea Thompson.
My favorite moment of the night was when Carlton (real name forgotten by me) and Michelle Williams (the Other Other Girl from Destiny's Child) came together to wow viewers.
All I can say is this: Food is a good thing and maybe Miss Williams should look into trying it on a regular basis. Nicole Ritchie shouldn't be ANYONE'S role model.
Also, I kind of want to punch Carlton. I kind of want to punch him a lot.
America LOVES voting shows. We elect Bush when we go to the polls, but it's also thanks to our awesome public that we have Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken.
Anyhoos--the celebs on the show are NOT the best singers and it's a bit painful watching accomplished singers like Gladys Knight and Smokey Robinson try and hold on while singing with an out off tune Chris Jericho and/or Lea Thompson.
My favorite moment of the night was when Carlton (real name forgotten by me) and Michelle Williams (the Other Other Girl from Destiny's Child) came together to wow viewers.
All I can say is this: Food is a good thing and maybe Miss Williams should look into trying it on a regular basis. Nicole Ritchie shouldn't be ANYONE'S role model.
Also, I kind of want to punch Carlton. I kind of want to punch him a lot.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Something I don't like.
This ad rates at maybe a 3 on the list of things I'm not into at this present moment.
It's so creepy. Like the cover of some creepy over the top teen comedy.
The Weekend PART DEUX: Porcelain Praise
On Saturday night, I went to a wrap party for a movie my roommate was working on. It was at one of Those Places in the Flatiron District. I was looking forward to 2 things:
We get to the bar and my cute friend and I start discussing getting blazed. Turns out his friend has some on his person so we go back to my apartment and even though I'm wasted I decide that it's a great idea to partake in what's going on in my living room. Then we go back to the bar where my roommate and now my other friends have joined in. I walk into the bar and realize that I am not fit for public consumption and I needed to go home. The cute guy had to come back with me because his bike was at my house.
What happened next is pretty gross.
I get home and barely make it to the couch before I hit the toilet barfing. And this cute guy, this totally fine and cute guy saw the whole thing. I puked for what seemed like hours and he kept bringing me water. He even put the water in my Snoopy squeeze bottle. I was sprawled out on the bathroom floor convinced that I was going to die and that I was never going to put any vodka in my body ever again. Finally I made it to my bed and Mr. Cute Stuff brought me a trash bag. And when he was sure I was about to go to sleep he says,
- Open bar
- Seeing Winona Ryder in person. She's in the movie and I heard many stories about her and I just had to see her in person.
We get to the bar and my cute friend and I start discussing getting blazed. Turns out his friend has some on his person so we go back to my apartment and even though I'm wasted I decide that it's a great idea to partake in what's going on in my living room. Then we go back to the bar where my roommate and now my other friends have joined in. I walk into the bar and realize that I am not fit for public consumption and I needed to go home. The cute guy had to come back with me because his bike was at my house.
What happened next is pretty gross.
I get home and barely make it to the couch before I hit the toilet barfing. And this cute guy, this totally fine and cute guy saw the whole thing. I puked for what seemed like hours and he kept bringing me water. He even put the water in my Snoopy squeeze bottle. I was sprawled out on the bathroom floor convinced that I was going to die and that I was never going to put any vodka in my body ever again. Finally I made it to my bed and Mr. Cute Stuff brought me a trash bag. And when he was sure I was about to go to sleep he says,
"So can I get your number so we can hang out sometime when you're not barfing?"
So that was my Saturday night.
I spent Sunday recovering. I woke up at 6am and barfed up my lungs. It was yellow and DISGUSTING but after it was out I could actually feel my sick drunk state wear off. So I went back to sleep, woke up at noon, and then went to brunch at my friend's. Sunday night I ended up at the movies and got the shit scared out of me. Have you seen The Descent? It was SO SCARY!
So that was my weekend, friends. A really cute guy saw me in one of the worst states of my life and still wanted to hang out.
I love it.
I spent Sunday recovering. I woke up at 6am and barfed up my lungs. It was yellow and DISGUSTING but after it was out I could actually feel my sick drunk state wear off. So I went back to sleep, woke up at noon, and then went to brunch at my friend's. Sunday night I ended up at the movies and got the shit scared out of me. Have you seen The Descent? It was SO SCARY!
So that was my weekend, friends. A really cute guy saw me in one of the worst states of my life and still wanted to hang out.
I love it.
Always weird...
....when you're on Myspace and you run across the profile of the man you lost your virginity to.
A little surreal I guess.
A little surreal I guess.
So last night
.....I went to a gay awards show. Not a lame show. But an actual awards show for the homosexual contingent. I went as a Plus One (my favorite title) and there was free vodka and sushi. The only real highlight (besides the transsexuals who's bodies put mine to shame) was the huge Bruce Vilanch-looking guy who was in front of my friends and I near one of the free food trays. All 300+ pounds of him was stuffed into little red shorts and a t-shirt. He reeked of cat piss. How does one not know when one smells like cat piss? I feel I'm always aware of my scent.
Also check out this commercial. My friend Donovan was raving about it so I'm sharing.
Also check out this commercial. My friend Donovan was raving about it so I'm sharing.
Monday, August 28, 2006
You know what?
"Fit For Fall isn't just a phrase--it's a way of life."
--Christos
8/28/06
in Brandy's living room
--Christos
8/28/06
in Brandy's living room
This Weekend PART UNO
So Friday afternoon I was IMing with a new friend and he invited me to his place that night for a dinner party. I decide to go even though I know I won't really know anyone there. I call up my friend Heather and she thinks it's a good idea too. So we both show up two hours late for this dinner soiree and New York being New York, we each know like 5 other people at the party.
We had a fabulous drunken time and the food was ABSOLUTELY amazing.
That was Friday.
Saturday was rainy and dreary and depressing outside and all I wanted was to be curled up with my fantastic and very mythical boyfriend on the couch watching fun movies all day. Instead, I watched Corpse Bride and then went to meet my roommate at a shoe store in Soho. I wasn't planning on shopping--in fact, I originally wanted to go out so that I could pick up a bottle of cheap vodka at my favorite liquor store on 8th and Broadway. But as the fates would have it, I ended up at the Wet Seal store on Broadway and Bond and they were having what could be classified as The Best Sale Ever. Every piece of clothing in the store was $2. All accessories? $1.
I spent $12 and got a skirt, a shirt, a pair of shorts, two belts, and TWO ONESIES.
I have never been so excited in my life. Knowing that I had such super cute new clothes and for so cheap was enough to make me forget about the bottle of vodka and head back home in happy spirits.
This Saturday was shaping up to be fabulous.
......to be continued after I do some work here at my paying job.
We had a fabulous drunken time and the food was ABSOLUTELY amazing.
That was Friday.
Saturday was rainy and dreary and depressing outside and all I wanted was to be curled up with my fantastic and very mythical boyfriend on the couch watching fun movies all day. Instead, I watched Corpse Bride and then went to meet my roommate at a shoe store in Soho. I wasn't planning on shopping--in fact, I originally wanted to go out so that I could pick up a bottle of cheap vodka at my favorite liquor store on 8th and Broadway. But as the fates would have it, I ended up at the Wet Seal store on Broadway and Bond and they were having what could be classified as The Best Sale Ever. Every piece of clothing in the store was $2. All accessories? $1.
I spent $12 and got a skirt, a shirt, a pair of shorts, two belts, and TWO ONESIES.
I have never been so excited in my life. Knowing that I had such super cute new clothes and for so cheap was enough to make me forget about the bottle of vodka and head back home in happy spirits.
This Saturday was shaping up to be fabulous.
......to be continued after I do some work here at my paying job.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Great News
So I have a new job that I'm really into. I work on a show called "Flip This House." If you haven't heard of it, your parents probably have.
Anyhoos--we have two crews shooting stuff out in the field. I speak with these people almost everyday at some point. But since I'm new here and shooting started before I did, I never met any of the cats who are on location.
Today my senior producer gets a pic of some of the producers in the field having some fun on the shooting range.
They are all so incredibly hot.
Do you know how awesome it is to find out that you work with hot guys? Even if they are in another state and have no idea what I look like. I'm sure they think I'm a bouncy white girl. With my voice and a name like Brandy, it's a common misconception.
I'm in such a great mood now. Also check out this site. You'll like it. I know about it because I'm awesome.
Anyhoos--we have two crews shooting stuff out in the field. I speak with these people almost everyday at some point. But since I'm new here and shooting started before I did, I never met any of the cats who are on location.
Today my senior producer gets a pic of some of the producers in the field having some fun on the shooting range.
They are all so incredibly hot.
Do you know how awesome it is to find out that you work with hot guys? Even if they are in another state and have no idea what I look like. I'm sure they think I'm a bouncy white girl. With my voice and a name like Brandy, it's a common misconception.
I'm in such a great mood now. Also check out this site. You'll like it. I know about it because I'm awesome.
I love internet slang.
I love it when people make up new internet slang abbreviations.
In case you missed it.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Johnny Depp
I think he may be the most attractive man I've ever seen. I've never met anyone who doesn't like him. I'm still watching the Teen Choice Awards and he just won.
He takes my breath away.
I'd also like to note that while watching this show tonight, I'm about ready to shoot the anti-drug commercial people. And every time someone wins, they work in a little aside about how important safe sex is.
Apparently all teenagers want to do is have sex and smoke pot while watching blockbuster hits.
Also, it's being hosted by Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook, two of the most annoying individuals alive today.
I have to go now. It's time to for K-Fed and Britney. I can't even wait.
He takes my breath away.
I'd also like to note that while watching this show tonight, I'm about ready to shoot the anti-drug commercial people. And every time someone wins, they work in a little aside about how important safe sex is.
Apparently all teenagers want to do is have sex and smoke pot while watching blockbuster hits.
Also, it's being hosted by Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook, two of the most annoying individuals alive today.
I have to go now. It's time to for K-Fed and Britney. I can't even wait.
Bling it.
Currently my roommate and I are watching the Teen Choice Awards. It's been the highlight of our day. Kevin Federline is making his world television debut with his new song in mere minutes.
But I took time out of watching to let everyone know that Brooke Hogan just won a Teen Choice Award for Best Grill.
There are many things I don't understand about the Teen Choice Awards. But mostly I would just like to be there. I can only imagine the goodie bags.
But I took time out of watching to let everyone know that Brooke Hogan just won a Teen Choice Award for Best Grill.
She CAN'T be serious.
And she spent like ten minutes on stage giving her
acceptance speech for this most coveted award.
acceptance speech for this most coveted award.
There are many things I don't understand about the Teen Choice Awards. But mostly I would just like to be there. I can only imagine the goodie bags.
Xtina and Xtos
Friday night I Was on a roof in the East Village with a few friends. We were discussing how much we love Christina Aguilera's new album, and I mentioned that I have a lot of respect for her because she doesn't try and pretend she's not trashy. She is who she is and she seems to be comfortable with. I like that.
One of my friends, Christos, says that he even supported her during her last album promotion when she was going by Xtina, which many people, rightfully so, found kind of lame.
He says,
"Xtina is her alter ego. That's why it's a cool nickname. I mean, my alter ego is Xtos. Don't hate."
I'm still laughing at this.
One of my friends, Christos, says that he even supported her during her last album promotion when she was going by Xtina, which many people, rightfully so, found kind of lame.
He says,
"Xtina is her alter ego. That's why it's a cool nickname. I mean, my alter ego is Xtos. Don't hate."
I'm still laughing at this.
Friday, August 18, 2006
How does this make you feel?
I was just on Gothamist and came across this.
Do you like it?
I don't think I do. In fact, I'm sure I don't.
Do you like it?
I don't think I do. In fact, I'm sure I don't.
Myspace Culture
I've been in the dating game for about 10 years now. And in those ten years I've watched it change and evolve. In high school, going out with someone for three weeks was considered "long term." In college, a girl sleeping with three different guys on consecutive days was considered "awesome."
But now I'm 25 and a real grown up and I'm beginning to see that dating has become very 21st century--traveling right along the information superhighway. It used to be that you'd break up with a guy and loose touch and only hear of him dating someone else from a friend in one of those disastrous "my friends are talking about something they don't want me to know" eavesdropping kind of situations. today however, you can just check out his myspace profile: You can see if his status has changed and then look through his top 8 to find the bitch who is currently fucking your man and hate her inwardly and bad mouth her to your friends even though you wouldn't know her if you saw her on the street.
But with the bad comes the good--now you can find your new boyfriend online and know all about him before things get too serious. One of my friends googled a crush and found out that he'd been fired from his last job as a high school teacher because he fucked one of his sophomore students.
I'm just saying.
But now I'm 25 and a real grown up and I'm beginning to see that dating has become very 21st century--traveling right along the information superhighway. It used to be that you'd break up with a guy and loose touch and only hear of him dating someone else from a friend in one of those disastrous "my friends are talking about something they don't want me to know" eavesdropping kind of situations. today however, you can just check out his myspace profile: You can see if his status has changed and then look through his top 8 to find the bitch who is currently fucking your man and hate her inwardly and bad mouth her to your friends even though you wouldn't know her if you saw her on the street.
But with the bad comes the good--now you can find your new boyfriend online and know all about him before things get too serious. One of my friends googled a crush and found out that he'd been fired from his last job as a high school teacher because he fucked one of his sophomore students.
I'm just saying.
Channeling Stephanie
My friend came over the other night and we did face masks. If you're looking for a relaxing time after work, all you need is a friend, a face mask, and a vokda-grapefruit juice.
And it's even better if your friend looks like Stephanie from Full House when he puts his mask on.
And it's even better if your friend looks like Stephanie from Full House when he puts his mask on.
Fit For Fall
Feels good to say, right?
I've neever been one for dieting. But since turning 25 I've noticd that the pounds have been packing on a bit. So I'm trying to give up my daily regime of Fried, Fried, and more Fried. I'm going to be fit for fall and hopefully I won't have to turn into Anorexic Annie to achieve this.
This was my last delicious meal. And an example of what I eat pretty much every day. I heart dairy, what can I say?
And this is the ball that's going to change my life.
I started working out with it last night. And I noticed a few things.
I've neever been one for dieting. But since turning 25 I've noticd that the pounds have been packing on a bit. So I'm trying to give up my daily regime of Fried, Fried, and more Fried. I'm going to be fit for fall and hopefully I won't have to turn into Anorexic Annie to achieve this.
This was my last delicious meal. And an example of what I eat pretty much every day. I heart dairy, what can I say?
And this is the ball that's going to change my life.
I started working out with it last night. And I noticed a few things.
- I have horrible balance
- It's very hard to watch the workout DVD and do the exercises at he same time.
- My apartment is a little on the small side. Me plus the big ball equals CRAMPED
- I never breathe the right way
- If the instructions say "don't strain your neck", I always strain my neck.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Fantastic
That's all I can say about the awesomeness of Christina Aguilera's new album Back To Basics. I have musical tastes that closely resemble those of a 13 year old girl so of course I love Xtina. But even if you abhor pop music because you're perched so high atop your pretensious indie rock horse that you can't see past the We'e Never Been Released On A Major Label Bands and Our Music Is Very Dischordant and Weird, even if that's you, you will appreciate and peerhaps even become obsessed with this album.
I bought it yesterday and it's the first album I've purchased since buying Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway two years ago. I only buy CDs that I know I will love.
And in other, lamer news: My roommate and I were on the list for the party Christina A hosted at Marquee last night. I was very excited about this even though I hate West Chelsea and everything the clubs there represent. We got there half an hour before the doors open and had to stand in line behind girls who are the reason behind the Long Island JAP stereotype. (Come on ladies--let's leave 5-7-9 and the Macys Juniors Department in 8th grade where they belong). There was a red carpet and paparazzi but I couldn't really see anything. However, as my roommate and I walked to get in line, one of the photographers said "Nice outfit!" to me.
We can hear them playing great songs and I'm like "They're playing everything good now. What are we going to dance to when we get in?" So we wait for 45 minutes and finally they start letting people in. Then we finally get inside and they drop the cover bomb charge. This guy working the door gave us reduced price tickets but $15 is way to high a price to pay to go to a club I don't even like. Apparently being on the list didn't matter at all. So Kristyn and I walked right on back outside, got into a cab, and we were whisked away, back to the sane "We don't charge covers at fun places) East Village neighborhood we know and love.
Point being, I DID NOT go to the party and would have been more pissed off if I hadn't already had three vodka and grapefruit juice cocktails before I left the house.
The moral of this story is:
Christina's album is fabulous. Clubs in West Chelsea are not. (Unless you're going with rich connected friends who get in right away and get table service.)
I bought it yesterday and it's the first album I've purchased since buying Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway two years ago. I only buy CDs that I know I will love.
And in other, lamer news: My roommate and I were on the list for the party Christina A hosted at Marquee last night. I was very excited about this even though I hate West Chelsea and everything the clubs there represent. We got there half an hour before the doors open and had to stand in line behind girls who are the reason behind the Long Island JAP stereotype. (Come on ladies--let's leave 5-7-9 and the Macys Juniors Department in 8th grade where they belong). There was a red carpet and paparazzi but I couldn't really see anything. However, as my roommate and I walked to get in line, one of the photographers said "Nice outfit!" to me.
We can hear them playing great songs and I'm like "They're playing everything good now. What are we going to dance to when we get in?" So we wait for 45 minutes and finally they start letting people in. Then we finally get inside and they drop the cover bomb charge. This guy working the door gave us reduced price tickets but $15 is way to high a price to pay to go to a club I don't even like. Apparently being on the list didn't matter at all. So Kristyn and I walked right on back outside, got into a cab, and we were whisked away, back to the sane "We don't charge covers at fun places) East Village neighborhood we know and love.
Point being, I DID NOT go to the party and would have been more pissed off if I hadn't already had three vodka and grapefruit juice cocktails before I left the house.
The moral of this story is:
Christina's album is fabulous. Clubs in West Chelsea are not. (Unless you're going with rich connected friends who get in right away and get table service.)
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Regrettable Things I've Said
I don't always say the right thing.
In the cab on the way to work this morning, I started thinking about how I like to be honest with people. And about how often my honesty is mistaken for rudeness. I never realize this until way after the fact. But then I laugh about it inside.
Let me share a few of these with you now.
I'm sure I've said more, but currently I'm on pins and needles waiting for my friends to get to my house so that we can go to a party where Christina Aguilera may or may not be.
I bought her album at KMart this afternoon. Life is good.
In the cab on the way to work this morning, I started thinking about how I like to be honest with people. And about how often my honesty is mistaken for rudeness. I never realize this until way after the fact. But then I laugh about it inside.
Let me share a few of these with you now.
- "Oh sorry! I thought it was in already!" I was drunk, he was drunk and I while I don't remember the name, I do remember appreciating that even if the hooking up wasn't going so well, at least he was really cute.
- "I bet you drink a lot of milk--you look so healthy! You've really go some childbearing hips. Must be fertile!" I was 16 or 17 and I said this to a girl named Jessica who I was in marching band with. At the time, all I wanted was a few choice curves because I was skinny as a rail. So I thought I was giving her a compliment. I was wrong.
- "You're so skinny! You're so skinny that for Halloween you should dress up like one of those tiny ballerinas that pop up when you open musical jewelry boxes. I could just break you in half!" This was uttered only a few nights ago to my friend's new girlfriend. She smiled and gave me an odd look. This could or could not be due to the fact that she's foreign. Or maybe she needed a sandwich.
I'm sure I've said more, but currently I'm on pins and needles waiting for my friends to get to my house so that we can go to a party where Christina Aguilera may or may not be.
I bought her album at KMart this afternoon. Life is good.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
I've been waiting for this!
I don't know about everyone else, but when I saw this in my email, I got a little excited.
As if I NEEDED as reason to shop at Victoria's Secret. Free vest? Free vest you say?
Vests are just never cool. Yes, I'll probably buy one because I like to be on the forefront of all things fashion but just because I own it, doesn't mean I think its cool. I owned a black pleather puffy vest in high school. My friends said it looked like a life jacket. I secretly thought the same thing but still wore it because I'd seen a model with the same vest in an issue of Vogue a few weeks earlier. I made many bold fashion statements as a teenager and never backed down from one. Not the silver platform sneakers paired with burgandy tights and a sheer rainbow shirt. Not even the yellow hiking boots with thermal underwear tights and an oversized plaid flannel shirt.
And yes, I owned not one, but three vests. The puffy one, a blue jean one which I thought went nicel with my large assortment of floral print slip dresses, and yes my friends, one that was paisley and all embroidered made me look like a 45 year old second grade teacher. In fact, it was originally my mom's vest, but I stole it from her because I thought I looked better in it.
As if I NEEDED as reason to shop at Victoria's Secret. Free vest? Free vest you say?
Vests are just never cool. Yes, I'll probably buy one because I like to be on the forefront of all things fashion but just because I own it, doesn't mean I think its cool. I owned a black pleather puffy vest in high school. My friends said it looked like a life jacket. I secretly thought the same thing but still wore it because I'd seen a model with the same vest in an issue of Vogue a few weeks earlier. I made many bold fashion statements as a teenager and never backed down from one. Not the silver platform sneakers paired with burgandy tights and a sheer rainbow shirt. Not even the yellow hiking boots with thermal underwear tights and an oversized plaid flannel shirt.
And yes, I owned not one, but three vests. The puffy one, a blue jean one which I thought went nicel with my large assortment of floral print slip dresses, and yes my friends, one that was paisley and all embroidered made me look like a 45 year old second grade teacher. In fact, it was originally my mom's vest, but I stole it from her because I thought I looked better in it.
I've always had a very keen sense of style.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Line of the Day
Sitting in my living room watching cartoons on TV, my friend who's on the short side says,
"There's this tall guy in my office and I just look at him in the kitchen sometimes and I think--We must have such different lives."
This is followed by,
"Life is different for shorter people. People just think you're nice. They ask you things like, where's the Bowery?"
"There's this tall guy in my office and I just look at him in the kitchen sometimes and I think--We must have such different lives."
This is followed by,
"Life is different for shorter people. People just think you're nice. They ask you things like, where's the Bowery?"
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Party of the Year
Yesterday I went to an awesome party.
I danced in a cage. I sung in a microphone with Missy Elliot. I had bleu cheese and provolone on my medium rare burger and some fabulous chicken fingers.
Oh and did I happen to mention that Missy Elliot performed AVEC back-up dancers at this party? And that I was standing close enough to TOUCH her if I'd wanted? Did I mention that?
What did I learn from this amazingly fun party where I danced for hours in the Saturday afternoon sun? That I absolutely love going to parties and that I think my calling in life is to be a hostess. I've said it before and I'll say it again--I'm REALLY good at talking to people and making sure they're having a good time. There has to be a way that I can get paid to do this without feeling like a prostitute.
After all, Brandy Crawford is one classy lady.
Enjoy some pictures.
That's right--she performed.
Pre-gaming on the party bus. It's the only way we roll.
Oh yes, there were backup dancers.
I love dancing in cages while wearing high-waisted shorts.
I danced in a cage. I sung in a microphone with Missy Elliot. I had bleu cheese and provolone on my medium rare burger and some fabulous chicken fingers.
Oh and did I happen to mention that Missy Elliot performed AVEC back-up dancers at this party? And that I was standing close enough to TOUCH her if I'd wanted? Did I mention that?
What did I learn from this amazingly fun party where I danced for hours in the Saturday afternoon sun? That I absolutely love going to parties and that I think my calling in life is to be a hostess. I've said it before and I'll say it again--I'm REALLY good at talking to people and making sure they're having a good time. There has to be a way that I can get paid to do this without feeling like a prostitute.
After all, Brandy Crawford is one classy lady.
Enjoy some pictures.
That's right--she performed.
Pre-gaming on the party bus. It's the only way we roll.
Oh yes, there were backup dancers.
I love dancing in cages while wearing high-waisted shorts.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
It's Hot Again Today
And I have been up since 6AM. I was in Queens by 7. Back in my office by 7:30. Back in Queens again at 8. Now I'm back in my office but leaving shortly to make a run to the east side.
Unlike other girls on the subway who look perfectly manicured without a hair out of place, I sweat. A lot. By the time I walk two blocks to the train, my face is dripping. By the time I get into the station to wait for whatever train will be taking me to my destiny, I've got boob sweat going on.
Not hot.
I have already downed two large hazelnut iced coffees from McDonalds.
But in better news, my friend Christos has a great article at brooklynvegan. Check it.
This man also has the esteemed honor of being one of the most fun people I know.
Unlike other girls on the subway who look perfectly manicured without a hair out of place, I sweat. A lot. By the time I walk two blocks to the train, my face is dripping. By the time I get into the station to wait for whatever train will be taking me to my destiny, I've got boob sweat going on.
Not hot.
I have already downed two large hazelnut iced coffees from McDonalds.
But in better news, my friend Christos has a great article at brooklynvegan. Check it.
This man also has the esteemed honor of being one of the most fun people I know.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Line of the Day
I meant to post this over the weekend but didn't get a chance.
So Sunday night my roommate and I are with some friends at this really great place on Avenue B that has 20 cent wings on Sunday. We're all eating and drinking and conversing about the heat and thoughts on the public pool that's across the street from my apartment building. (It makes me and my roommate feel weird because we're not into e. coli and nasty kids sharing our waterspace but it's been so hot that we're considering saying "fuck all" to our health and well-being and really just counting on the chlorine to do its job). Anyway--the topic of adult swim came up and my roommate said that as a kid she always hated adult swim but when she was a lifeguard she loved it.
Why?
"Adults don't drown in pools. No, seriously. They don't."
That's one for the books folk. Mark it down as FACT.
So Sunday night my roommate and I are with some friends at this really great place on Avenue B that has 20 cent wings on Sunday. We're all eating and drinking and conversing about the heat and thoughts on the public pool that's across the street from my apartment building. (It makes me and my roommate feel weird because we're not into e. coli and nasty kids sharing our waterspace but it's been so hot that we're considering saying "fuck all" to our health and well-being and really just counting on the chlorine to do its job). Anyway--the topic of adult swim came up and my roommate said that as a kid she always hated adult swim but when she was a lifeguard she loved it.
Why?
"Adults don't drown in pools. No, seriously. They don't."
That's one for the books folk. Mark it down as FACT.
Motherfucker!
So New York City is in the middle of a heatwave. I try not to go outside if I can help it and I've been drinking iced coffees by the gallon. My subway ride home today seemed to take forever and I just couldn't understand why sweat was pouring off of me but the girl standing beside me looked as fresh as a fucking daisy.
So imagine my surprise when I walk the ten minute walk from the subway station and then the trek up six flights of stairs only to find that no, my AC is not on as I'd timed it to be. In fact, nothing is on. Why? Because our power was out.
I know that the power was out in Queens for a week but I pay to live in Manhattan god damn it. I need my power.
I tried switching the circuit breaker but to no avail. I called ConEdison and was informed that it was a building problem and I'd need to take that up with my super. My super was MIA went I went down to his apartment. As I walked back up six flights of stairs for the second time, I realized that we had no candles. And then I realized that the fridge wasn't working which meant that in a couple of hours I'd only have lukewarm beer.
Nothing puts a girl's life in perspective like a power outage.
Of course my solution to most of life's problems is to just have a beer. Everything seems to go all right if I'm a little tipsy. And I needed to go ahead and drink it all before it was ruined.
Luckily the power was only out for like an hour. My super came home and fiddled around and now the AC is blasting in my face. And I'm sipping on an ice cold Budweiser.
So imagine my surprise when I walk the ten minute walk from the subway station and then the trek up six flights of stairs only to find that no, my AC is not on as I'd timed it to be. In fact, nothing is on. Why? Because our power was out.
I know that the power was out in Queens for a week but I pay to live in Manhattan god damn it. I need my power.
I tried switching the circuit breaker but to no avail. I called ConEdison and was informed that it was a building problem and I'd need to take that up with my super. My super was MIA went I went down to his apartment. As I walked back up six flights of stairs for the second time, I realized that we had no candles. And then I realized that the fridge wasn't working which meant that in a couple of hours I'd only have lukewarm beer.
Nothing puts a girl's life in perspective like a power outage.
Of course my solution to most of life's problems is to just have a beer. Everything seems to go all right if I'm a little tipsy. And I needed to go ahead and drink it all before it was ruined.
Luckily the power was only out for like an hour. My super came home and fiddled around and now the AC is blasting in my face. And I'm sipping on an ice cold Budweiser.
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