Christos's mp3 of the day!

Christos as Nicole Ritchie.

My friend Christos has started a mailing list. Everyday he sends out a link to download his pick for MP3 of the day. He is the reason that I have expanded my musical tastes to include artists other than Christina Aguilera, Rhianna, and Ciara. If you want to be put on the mailing list click here


He sends out a song every day and each week, I am going to pick my favorite one of the ones he's sent so far. This weeks fav is:

artist: css (cansei de ser sexy)
album: css
track: music is my hot hot sex


You can download it here. The link is only valid for another couple of days so download this sooner rather than later.


Get ready to dance!!

Cha-cha-cha-Charmin!

Two of my best college girlfriends were in town this weekend and we went to see a Broadway show. I'm not really into plays but I wanted to be a good host. We ended up all scoring lottery tickets for Avenue Q which was very nice. I only checked my watch once during the show. That means it's a winner.

Before the show we were killing time walking around Times Sqaure, my least favorite part of New York City. Just so you guys know, people who actually LIVE in New York only go to Times Square if we have to. There are too many people standing and gawking and it's generally frustrating and annoying to independent New York woman like myself who have PLACES TO BE.

But anyway---

There are these public bathrooms in Times Square now sponsored by Charmin. You go in and up an escalator and suddenly it's like you just stepped into an Old Navy commercial. Everyone is happy and having fun and DANCING AND SINGING. It looks like a snowy winter wonderland. I didn't actually use the bathrooms but the claim to fame is that they are each cleaned after each use. Sounds like the WORST JOB EVER. This place was so weird and cheesy that I couldn't help but LOVE IT.


I have some good pics.

The entrance. We knew something was up.

Bathrooms ahead!



They were singing and dancing to the Ch-Ch-Charmin song on a loop, killing me softly.

They have a sled set up and a guy who will take your pic if you give him your camera.
"We're open everyday except Christmas," he tells us.
"Sucks for you." I thought.

But that's a WHITE nose!!!



Note: Charmin is my LEAST fav TP. It's TOO fuzzy!!

For the record.

I am sick of seeing pics of waxed celeb vaginas.


I know, I know, I don't have to look. But how can you NOT if it's there?
So instead of complaining, I'm going to jump on the band wagon.

Here's the pic you've all been waiting for.

The Brandy Crawford crotch pic.


I HEART PHOTOSHOP.

I know, I know

I'm always posting IMs. It's just that they are SO FUNNY to me.
And I want to share.

I was actually busy today and so were my friends.
I was away from my computer for an hour and came back to this:

I kind of had an epiphany at lunch.

And because everyone should be obsessed with the show Nip/Tuck, I give you this snipet.

I promise to try and stop posting so many IMs. But someone needs to tell Christos to stop being so fucking funny.

Thanksgiving rocked my world

I have just enjoyed a FANTASTIC four-day weekend. I had a delicious and super fun Thanksgiving feast on Thursday. Two of my best friends from college were here and we all won the lottery for Avenue Q tickets on Friday. After the play, I we went shopping and I bought a new one piece PANTSUIT that I ADORE. Saturday, I had a party and a lot of people came. And Sunday, I spent traipsing around the Lower East Side and Soho and I got a wonderful dress at H&M.

Here are some Thanksgiving break highlights:

• My friend Caroline who was visiting from Georgia this weekend is one of the funniest people I know who has no idea she is hilarious. Two gems from the mouth of the babe: "The best sex I ever had was with that Brazilian who stole my iPod" and "Did He-Man and She-ra date? No? Weird."
• I had a party on Saturday night--I broke out my new pantsuit--and as the remnants were straggling out two of our guests got into an argument. This one guy was being super rude to my roommate's friend so she told the rude guy that he should leave. The rude drunk guy then says to her, "Whatever. And by the way, your sitcom sucks." Referring to the show she works. Great comeback guy.
• There was a conversation at one point on one of the days which involved Angelina Jolie eating the skin of Indian children to maintain her magical good looks.
• My Georgia friends and I walk into a bar and one of them says, "I don't know about this place, Brandy--looks like a bunch of gay guys and ugly girls."

For the visual learners out there here are some choice pics.

The feast.

I tried playing Trivial Pursuit and threw in the towel after two turns.

Before Avenue Q, but after the enema.

I will go in more depth about this particular part of my Friday in a later post.

THE PANTSUIT. God bless H&M. I went to FOUR OF THEM this weekend.

Me and my roommate's fancy roof footwear.

People. Having. Fun.

He has a child bride!


Kristyn thinking, "There are too many people in here. I wanted this to be an outside party."


My roommate woke me up at 10am on Sunday.
"We have to clean!" she said, "Because I have to go soon!"
By soon she meant 3pm.
But I always clean with a smile.

Tuesday as Thursday

So every Tuesday, I will be writing a little something for a blog called Girlspoke. It is an awesome and funny site and you can read waht I wrote today here.


A couple of things on my mind this morning--

1. The Kramer debacle at a comedy club in LA. I love Seinfeld. True, Elaine was my favorite character but I love the show as a whole and I can't believe that Michael Richards is such a freak. I know he apologized and everything but everyone knows he totally meant what he said because he spewed it so naturally. I know it sucks when people heckle you on stage and I'm all for putting a jerk in his place, but really, must we stoop to racial slurs? A real funny man could have come up with something better than that. I, for one, am glad that we have come far enough that I can write this blog without a fork stuck up my black ass. What the fuck is that anyway? They used to lynch us and then stick forks up our asses?
2. Cold weather sucks. True, I am wearing my new beautiful furry hat but I hate cold. When I considered NYU as a college freshman, my dad pointed out that if I went to New York I'd have to get a winter coat. I am also still not over snow. Snow was such an elusive and wonderful thing when I was younger. I can't believe it happens on a regular basis here.
3. I love three day weeks. It's Tuesday today but it's kind of like it's Thursday since tomorrow is the last day of the work week. I would be such an awesome worker if I always had four days off.

And finally, here is a quick iChat I had earlier this morning that cracked me up. We were talking about a friend who instant messages us too much.

Sunday Mornings

All Sunday mornings should involve drinking beer, braiding corn rows, ordering brunch, and playing the Game of Life.

Sexytime was an AMAZING time!!

We were sold out before the show even started!!! And everything went wonderfully--from Christos and his accordian and my roommate's drunken plea for everyone to watch 30 Rock to the comics to Michael Lucas, everyone had a fabulous time.

In fact this whole weekend was great. I've decided that instead of describing it, I'll put up pictures to show you how fun it was!

Joanna Goldman and Gertrude were two of our special guests at Sexytime.

Afterwards, at bar with lovely and delicious cheap beer.

Saturday I went to a party in Greenpoint. There was a keytar there.

I only have people over if they are wearing furry hats.

Sara at the bar!!

I want this picture in US Weekly in the "Celebrities are just like us" section.


I might start singing in a Motown cover band and
this is the creepy neighborhood where we rehearse.

It's the Brandy and Tim Show!

Just got back from a company lunch

And I am more than a little drunk.

Not quite sure how I will fare for the rest of the day but I'd just like all of you--the people who are reading my blog and like it--I just want you guys all to know that I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME.


Thanks for reading.

And please enjoy this iChat conversation with the always entertaining and never a dull moment--Mr. Christos Mountzouros.

A funny headline

This made me chuckle

GW is so 2004 already.

Say NO to Happy Feet

And YES to Sexytime!!!


It's tonight everyone it's going to be GREAT!!

Go here for information on how to hae the time of your life starting at 11pm tonight on Avenue A in New York City.
And in other news, starting next week I will be lending my bloggy skills to a fantastic site called Girlspoke. I will be posting every Tuesday about fun things that catch my fancy.

I stayed in last night to help myself get over my cold. I made treats for the show tonight so my apartment smells like a bakery which is always nice. And I watched Grey's Anatomy which always puts me in a good mood but leaves me with the question: How the FUCK does Meredith get such hot guys? She is SO annoying!!

Also, I take my temperature obsessively when I am sick. I've been feeling lately that the thermometer I have at my house is wrong most of the time. So I bought a new one yesterday and opened it on my walk home. I was walking down East 2nd Street with this white tube stuck in my mouth and that's when I discover that the goddamned thing DOESN'T WORK. And I can't take it back because my germy mouth has been all over it.

How do YOU feel about Gwen Stefani?

In the middle of Chrystie and Delancey

I decided last night that the only great way to get over being sick was to go out and have a fun night on the town with my friend Christos.

Unfortunately, due to a happy encounter with two 40s of Colt 45 and the finale of Dancing With The Stars and the season premiere of Day Break with Taye Diggs, we didn't leave my apartment until 3 hours after we originally intended. There was also a video made during the interim of Dancing with the Stars and leaving the house which involved Christos dancing and singing the theme song from Duck Tails.

We were on the list for a party at a bar on Chrystie and Delancey where we'd been promised free vodka. We got there and discovered that it was the weirdest, grimiest place on Earth and immediately left, deciding that the rest of our night would be better spent at my apartment playing drunken Scrabble and watching Waiting For Guffman. On our way back to my apartment, we were crossing Chrystie Street and going east on Delancey. I had just dialed a friend on my cell and was waiting for her to pick up. Two guys were heading west facing us. Two normal looking guys, maybe gay, one had a briefcase. They were chatting with one another and then as the walking man sign lit up and Christos and I started across the street, the one with the briefcase locks eyes on Christos, runs up to him and PICKS HIM UP OFF THE GROUND, RUNS INTO THE MIDDLE OF CHRYSTIE STREET AND TWIRLS HIM AROUND SCREAMING,

"This is a wonderful night!!"

The entire while I was on the phone, speechless, watching as this man swung my friend around in the middle of the street while I stood there with his friend.

The guy then put Christos down, grabbed his briefcase where he dropped it and he and his friend continued on their way while Christos and I fell to the ground laughing.

"Why did they leave?" he asked. "That was awesome! I would have had sex with him!!"



So even though the party was lame, the encounter on the way home made the whole night worth it. And drunken Scrabble was pretty fun after.

I'd blow him too.

And he wouldn't even have to say please.

Fun Wednesday IMs

I was out sick yesterday but I'm back in action today. I've been very productive.

See for yourself.

First there was talk with Jim about everyone's favorite topic: Blowjobs.



Micky is not so much into Myspace anymore.



Stacy got a bad haircut and learned a valuable lesson.




My roommate is not so much into construction boots on guys but is willing to make an exception on some occasions.



The lesson learned from this post? If you IM me and I laugh, I will probably post it!!

Just a thought

I'm watching Dancing With The Stars right now and I have to admit, I'm more than a little weirded out by Mario Lopez and his mom. I mean he's like 30something right? Is it really necessary for her to come to all his rehearsals?

Also, I am more than a lot jealous of his dancing partners abs. I have GOT to start using that stupid Pilates ball.


PS: I love watching choreographed dance.

Sexytime is this Friday!!

And you should buy your tickets NOW. It's going to be an awesome and VERY PACKED show so buying tickets online is the way to go.

Click here to buy tickets.


PS: The joy of being sick is that hours can pass and you don't even notice. When I laid down for a nap, it was daytime. I awoke and it's dark now.

I smell a new war

No idea who's side I am on. Maybe Wal-Mart.
One can get a dozen eggs for 79 cents there.

10am at Key Food

Morning time is Old People Time.

I am home sick today. Temperature, achiness, sore throat, the whole nine yards. I went into my office earlier so that today won't be a total waste and on my way back home, I stopped to load up on sick people supplies at the Key Food grocery store near my apartment.

The place was chock full of the elderly. I even caught a whiff of Eau de Old Aunt--you know that slightly stale mixture of kitty litter, potpurri pinecones, and Lysol. It took me about ten minutes longer than usual to stock up because I had to pause at EVERY AISLE with my buggy because one of the old people would be bending over taking up the whole aisle trying to see the sale price on Cheez-its or reaching for the last bottle of fabric softener. And they couldn't hear me yell, "Excuse me" because they are old. So I'd have to gently nudge with my cart or get up in a little old face to get them out of the way. And every time I just got a smile and a soft, "Oh excuse me dear," and they would move a milli-inch so I could try and squeeze by with my buggy full of cheese puffs, soup, coke, juice and popcorn.

I made it out alive and am now settled on my couch with a temperature of 101, a pile of work on my coffee table, an inbox full of unread emails, and Home Improvement on TBS. And the newfound realization that Old People Come Out In The Morning. Probably just trying to get the most out of tat fabled "early morning light."

I am allergic to that light I think.

I would like to spend my life with this man.

His name is John Legend. His voice is the most amazing I have ever heard. And I saw him perform last Saturday night. I'm pretty much convinced that we are meant to be together.


Saturday night I got all fancy and went to a benefit concert for a private school on the Upper West Side. I wanted a new dress but I am always broke. I went shopping anyway and yours truly came away with a new dress ($3.99), a necklace ($5) and a new onesie ($6)!!! Who loves Forever 21? BRANDY CRAWFORD DOES.

The concert was at the Beacon Theater and was hosted by none other than Robert DeNiro. And it was great. I saw Donna Summer perform LIVE. Last Dance is my all time favorite karaoke song so seeing it performed LIVE was out of control. Below is a blurry picture of her--my camera was not cooperating but I got something.


After the concert, I ended up back downtown and meeting up with friends. One friend lead to another friend and somehow I ended up at a bar on Avenue A and 2nd Street with one of my best friends from high school and a guy from my high school I haven't seen since we graduated. New York has a way of making things like that happen and it's one of the things I love about the city. I made a few new friends and circa 2am ended up having another impromptu gathering at my apartment. I hung out on the roof that night for a little too long a teeny outfit and now I am at home with a fever and a sore throat.


Last week was a bit on the crazy side for this lady so in order to prepare for the awesomeness that will be SEXYTIME this Friday, I am going to lay low. That's right--no going out.

Hopefully I can stick to this but since arriving home this evening, I already have two texts about fun things going on tonight. I will be strong and resist. Girls with fevers SHOULD NOT GO TO open bars.

And in completely unrelated news, I went to this dress shop on Ludlow and Rivington with Ms. Heather Fink on Sunday and it was hilarious. She was looking for an old lady dress and the super Hassidic Jews who have owned that store since New York was founded were the nicest people I have run into in a while. The selection of merchandise bordered on hideous and really hideous but I almost wanted to buy something. Just because they were so nice. And speaking of nice, I got my eyebrows waxed on Saturday. It costs $6 but the little Asian lady who took me back to the room to do the deed tells me as I lay down on the table,

"You have bee-oo-tee-ful body."

So she got $12 from me.


Being nice to people goes a long way.


My eyebrows look terrific!

2am on a Friday Night

Here's my Friday night.

My roommate and I started the night planning to only spend $10 each--a cab from and back to home. Every drink was supposed to be free and hot men would be fighting to talk to us.



The open bar didn't happen and our budget expanded from $10 to $22 with one free drink coming from a female bartender friend at the last bar. But at least I looked very thin and Nicole Ritchie-like in the above photo.



So we ended up back at our apartment and our friend Jason came over. He showed up with a to-go cup of cabernet complete with lid. The mere fact that this existed moved me to giggles and I had to take a picture.

Espeically when my roommate exclaims, "Hey that's Rosemary Clooney on TV!"

The ad says it all

November 8th, 2006

A great day for America.

First this:

And now THIS:

Maybe soon to be followed by this?


I think Christos sums it up best with this: