I'm going to stop with the Halloween bitching

I was randomly looking through Halloween costumes to see if I could find the one I bought. The site I was on had all these different categories.

This one's my favorite:

Okay now I'm really done

Don't judge me please

I used to be OBSESSED with that show Avonlea on the Disney Channel.

In 5th and 6th grade I was really into early 20th century family life on the coast of Canada.



I've now moved on to being obsessed with Elizabethan England.

Dumbledore.....GAY???

Ummm....obviously?

He's a HEADMASTER. At the risk of sounding un-PC I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that being a Headmaster is kind of.....gay. Add to that he's British and you've got an age old stereotype on your hands. He was also ALWAYS going on and on about love this and love that.

Also kind of....gay.

JK Rowling is saying now that she views the series as a"prolonged treatise on tolerance."


PS: I do realize that calling things "gay" is childish and ignorant. But when a word fits....use it.

Halloween is for Whores

Yesterday I went to Ricky's to have a look around for a costume. What I found was a store dedicated to making women look like complete sluts. Halloween is like heaven on earth for guys:



There's the sexy cop, the sexy referee, the sexy Home Depot worker (her apron says "Home Wrecker"), the sexy Marie Antoinette, and I can't forget my favorite--it was called "Garden Ho" and consisted of a tiny green dress and a watering can. There are even slutty versions of Strawberry Shortcake, Ariel, and Rainbow Brite.

I should say that I did in fact purchase a costume yesterday. And it is a little slutty. But I don't need Halloween as an excuse to show off some skin--I just need cooperative weather.

Welcome to Halloween 2007--Brandy Crawford as a coked up aerobics instructor from 1986!!



PS: Not really sure why I always add coke to my costume choices. Coke makes everything funnier right?

It's going to be a good day

It's 8:30 in the morning and Some Kind Of Wonderful is on TV.




My favorite line:

"Don't you know that it's 1987 and women can be whatever they want to be?"

Mary Stuart Masterson is an unsung genius. And I'm glad Eric Stolz shows off his real cuteness here because until I saw this movie, I his real face was his face in Mask.

Best Costume....EVER

I can never compete with this kind of creative genius when it comes to Halloween costumes.





My costume is usually some form of "whore" and I use Halloween as many girls do--to dress up as sexy as I can without actually going nude. I have two days and counting to come up with something. So far I've got some high waisted panties and a corset. We'll see what happens.

Heroes is on soon

Watching Entertainment tonight and felt like sharing some opinions.

• Iggygate. WTF. In case you don't obsessively check gossip blogs every ten minutes, you might not know that Ellen Degeneres adopted a ridiculously cute puppy named Iggy and then gave it to her hairdresser's kid because her other pets weren't into it. The adoption agency found out and took the dog back because apparently, since Ellen adopted the dog, she has to let them know where it is. Ellen had a big cry about it on her show and the dog adoption agency is feeling like shit because everyone in America thinks they are cold blooded bastards who live to make children cry. This was a good story when I heard it but there's really no need for this situation to have a name and it's even more not okay that the name is Iggygate. I mean, seriously?

• Because I don't live in California and I never plan on living there, I've never given much thought to Ah-nold as governor. Today I watched him give a speech in Mailbu (in case you didn't know--it's burning right now). He was talking about how great the firefighters were and how California has to be strong, but all I could see was him as The Terminator and every word out of his mouth sounded hilarious. It's that accent and the muscles. There's no way I can ever take him seriously.

• My crush on Denzel Washington just came out of hiding and is making me swoon at the sight of that toothy smile of his. Can't WAIT for American Gangster.
  

On a different note, I am covered in mosquito bites after spending 5 minutes in the wilds of a Park Slope backyard last night. I have one on my back that's just out of reach of any of my fingers. It's quite the infuriating dilemma but luckily I just discovered that I can use the arm of the couch to scratch if I'm lying down over it. I love these little private things one can do when one is home alone.

Why is it....

....that I automatically revert to baby talk whenever I see cuteness?


An example:

Setting:
Sitting at my desk, looking a pictures of cure puppies online.

Characters:
Me
Co-worker


Me: Lookit that wittle pwretty ba-bee!!! She's so precious!! She's just a precious-wecious angel!!!

Co-worker: Brandy are you for real right now?

Me: I wuv wittle puggle ba-bees!!

Website change to TMZ.

Me: God, Britney Spears is such a fucking lunatic.

Co-worker: You're so weird.

So.....

I can't stop playing internet scrabble. I know it's a problem. Especially considering that my show that I work hard for the money at decided on Monday to start a new location on next Monday. So I really don't have time to be playing internet scrabble because I have a production to deal with. I've got a trip to San Antonio and one to Atlanta coming up--both for work, both involving me carrying $1000s of dollars in cold hard American cash on my person.

So I know that I should not be playing internet scrabble.

BUT I CAN'T STOP.

PS: In completely unrelated news, I was looking at my coworkers' iTunes libraries on my computer's iTunes library and I discovered that one girl I work with has a very similar taste in music as myself. Within ten seconds, I was out of my desk and going 6 flights upstairs to our main office and taking about 100 songs from her computer to my iPod. I was in back in my own office and listening to Whitney Houston's Greatest Hits in no time.

And now I'm singing along to "Saving All My Love For You" and wishing fervently for a mic and a captive audience.

I was feeling unsafe

But now that I know I can keep my gun SO accessible my life has REALLY changed.

Remember--$39.95 is a small price to pay for American freedom.

I don't want to be elitist but....

I just think it should be a little harder to get a college education.

Marzipan Babies

Here's something to brighten your Monday

Who doesn't love a marzipan baby?

They make a delightful addition to any treat!!

It's 11:11am

It's Trumpet Time!!

For your morning laugh

People are great.

I'm off today!!

And loving television. I watched Maury do teen paternity tests and now Jerry Springer is on. I kind of thought that the show had reached its peak back in 1999 but it seems, Jerry is still going strong. Today's show centers on a family plucked straight from a Tennessee trailer park. The dad has no teeth and looks like that creepy child molester from Family Guy. He's serving as the referee as his two scrawny for sure Neo-Nazi sons fight it out in a redneck battle royale. The brothers are at odds because one went to prison and asked the other to watch over the family. The free brother decided that this meant that he should fuck his brother's wife. Now she's pregnant, the jailbird brother is flying free and ready to kick some ass.

I'm eating the only food we have in the house--Oriental flavored ramen noodles that have 890 milligrams of sodium per serving. When I was in 7th grade, my dad was obsessed with Oriental flavored ramen noodles and my mom bought it by the case. It's surprising that given the food that my parents provided by brother and I with that we aren't morbidly obese.


But back to being off. I know everyone is weirded out and over this global warming induced hot sunny weather, but I kind of love it. In Georgia, this is what October feels like so it's a nice little taste of home. Right now I have sunshine and warmth and new primetime TV. Life is good.

Speaking of TV, Eva Longoria actually made me cry on Desperate Housewives last night. I'm only slightly ashamed though because it was a really emotional scene so I don't think I'm alone in my tears. My pick for best new show ever is Gossip Girl. My roommate works at the studio where they shoot so I'm hoping she'll surprise me one day by inviting the cast over to our apartment to hang out. I'm okay wiht the fact that they are all under 20.

In other news, I’m growing my nails out. This is momentous because I have been an avid nailbiter since age five. I tried once in high school but gave up after a solid 3 weeks of not biting. My new nails are only growing on my right hand so far. I bit the ones on the left—I let myself slide. My new nails are getting in the way of my already laborious typing. But I’m still trying to be a lady about it.

I think I'll take a walk now. I don't think I have a weekday off again til Thanksgiving so it will be nice to see the East Village in the afternoon as it would be if I was a freelancer and worked from home which is my dream.

There was no red carpet

But I still had a great time.

Last night I went to the 30 Rock premiere party. My roommate works on the show and I can honestly say that it's one of the funniest shows on TV. She told me there would be a red carpet so I took an hour out of my workday yesterday to find the perfect outfit for under $30. I'm really glad about the outfit even if I didn't strut it down a paparazzi filled path.

In fact, this is my only picture from last night. That's my friend, Selda. She called me around 9:30 to see what I was up to. I told her to come and try and get in and here we are three or six drinks later.




Highlights:

I met Alec Baldwin. My roommate has a habit of introducing me as her "heterosexual life partner." Not sure where this came from but she's really taken to it. Anyway she intro'd us and my favorite part of meeting celebs is that they always introduce themselves as if they are just regular folks and that I didn't just see them on TV.

"Hi, I'm Alec."

Um....I KNOW. I would have to have lived under a ROCK not to know.


The same thing happened when she intro'd me to Will Arnett.

"Hi, I'm Will"

I thought but didn't say, "PLEASE DO YOUR GOB VOICE!!!"


The food was delicious--I LOVE little appetizers!!! And I had about 4 gin and tonics which means that either they were light on the gin or I'm finally developing a tolerance. My show is finishing up its 3rd season so my boss gave us Monday off.

Three-day weekends are little gifts from God sent to rock my world.

A Great Wednesday Night

Homemade cheesy chicken empanadas + Gossip Girl +
The Live Top Chef final +PBR + Green Thumb + High School Musical

=

PERFECTION ON A COUCH

True That Tuesday.

TRUE THAT.

PS

Fruit Stripe brand gum is the most disgusting gum. EVER.

Sometimes....

......when I wear empire waisted shirts or dresses and I'm feeling fat, I like to pretend I'm about 4 months pregnant when I'm on the subway just to see if someone will give me their seat. I make like my back is killing me and I pooch out my belly and rub it slightly.

I've gotten seats on 3 different occasions using this method.