In case you were wondering...

A Ponzi scheme is a fraudulent investment operation that involves paying abnormally high returns to investors out of the money paid in by subsequent investors, rather than from the profit from any real business.

I LOVE WIKIPEDIA.

Holiday party fun

Before I begin, you should know this.

I love sample sales. And yesterday I heard about this sample sale with accessories for $10 or less. That fact alone should have let me know what I'd be in for but I kind of love paying $10 or less for everything in life so of course I had to go. And my holiday party was last night and even though i had the dress I wanted to wear I wanted to jazz it up with some crazy jewels maybe.

So I go over with 2 of my coworkers--we actually had to take the train. It was kind of awesome because we just took the 7 one stop to 5th Ave, and when we got out it was snowing and if you haven't experienced a real New York moment until you're standing in front of the public library on 42nd and 5th as the first snow of the year swirls around you.

But anyway. It was snowing and snow is awesome but on to the sample sale. We get there and I think that sample sale is exaggerating what we found. Basically every cheap mall store decided to send their overstock bullshit to this storefront to sell for $10 or less. It's like Steps having a "sample sale." One of my coworkers picked up a pair of tights and said, "Wouldn't I pay $5 for this at Steps anyway?"

However there's a silver lining--amongst the bullshit I found my new favorite thing to wear. You heard it here first folks--FAUX FUR LEGWARMERS ROCK. I saw them and my first reaction was to make fun of them but then slowly but surely....I began to feel the love.


Basically the deal was sealed as soon as I realized that I already owned a matching hat.


The faux fur legwarmers were only a part of what made last night amazing. The 2008 Holiday Happy Hour was a rousing success--we filled up the White Rabbit and people were having a good time until like 2 in the morning. I got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time and I met some new friends. I danced to Circus by Britney Spears (I tried so hard to fight loving the album but alas--I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT). I wore a Santa beard and people sat on my lap. I convinced my roommate to go out of character and wear a scandalous sequined dress. It was a great party and I'm very excited for Christmas! Here's a random assortment of pics--if you want to see all of them click here.

Ondi and Kristyn and me--the happy hostesses

Work friends who are awesome!!

I LOVE THIS SANTA HAT WITH BEARD

Justin is always ADORABLE

Secret Santa

We had a raffle!!

He's going to get a really good present.

The 2008 Holiday Happy Hour was GREAT

Thanks so much to everyone who came out!!!

I'll be posting pics soon but for now here's a pic of the first snow!!!!

It's hot all right.

My boyfriend and I were walking up Third Avenue yesterday over in Murray Hill trying to find a new and exciting place to eat. As we're ambling along down the sidewalk, we come to a block that's anchored at one end by a liquor store and a group of homeless alcoholics on the other. We walk past said group of homeless alcoholics and one pops over by us and says,

"How's the pussy??? IS IT HOT????"

We continue walking but Justin is cracking up. "Did he say what I think he said?" I asked. "Did he say 'how's the pussy?'" My answer was Justin's continued laughter.

Looking back on it now I should have turned back around to the guy and said,

"HOT? Motherfucker, try SMOKIN' INFERNO."

I can never have a witty retort ready when I need it.
Always after the fact.

And I would have loved referring to my vagine as a smoking inferno.

Happy birthday Supergirl (ie Helen Slater)

Supergirl was always my favorite superhero. And I don't know about you but as a child I loved every minute of the her big movie. Faye Dunaway should always play scary witchy women. Also Peter O'Toole has just always been old huh? And Helen Slater is so hot right? I used to want to look like her but the realization of whole black/white thing put those dreams to rest sometime in 1986.

PS when I did a google image search for Supergirl a LOT of NSFW pics came up. It's really annoying having to explain to a coworker why there is a big breasted stripper in skimpy superhero costume on your screen because your computer decided to freeze.




sidenote: Did you see SNL this weekend? If you needed further proof that Kanye West is hell youtube his performance.

I want this.

And I have wanted it since I saw the infomercial a few months ago. As soon as I see it in a store I will buy it. I can't come to terms with purchasing it over the internet. Doesn't she look so comfortable though? And doesn't the concept of a blanket with sleeves make SO MUCH SENSE?



You have to watch the infomercial. WARNING: this could cause you to really want to purchase a Snuggie.

Everybody has cellulite

Yes, that's right.

EVERYONE.

Regular people AND celebs. I'm at work right now and taking a break by perusing some gossip blogs and I ran across a post about how "shiteous" Pam Anderson looks because she has cellulite and some back fat. Give the bitch a fucking break! Isn't she almost 40 and a mom? Wouldn't it be weird if she DIDN'T have any??? And when ladies read this shit and they have cellulite how does that make them feel? In particular THIS LADY. Thanks to Nivea's cellulite cream and my youth my thighs look fine but I am not under any illusion that this will always be so. God, already in order to be the size that society wants, I can't consume anything but air and the occasional glass of water. A bitch can't just be skinny anymore. She has to be perfect.

I'm over that. I think all women are perfect in their own way (fuck you if you think that's lame--get a heart and a life and learn to love yourself). I'm grateful to my mother for giving me my absurdly high self esteem but I get down sometimes. It's hard to have 5 ft tall, 100 pound waifs shoved in my face as the example of what I should strive for. I'm never going to have matchstick legs--my cankles are here to stay. I'm never going to have d-cup tits on a size 2 frame. In fact, if weighed 105 pounds, I would ONLY BE SKIN HANGING FROM BONES.

Everybody has cellulite. Get the fuck over it.

I should be creative

and maybe write a post or 2.

Or I can just post this.

Baby Brown

Last night I was at my boyfriend's helping to decorate his Christmas tree. He had his mom bring down about a million ornaments and it was so much fun decking the tree out. We put on Christmas music and life was great. All of his childhood ornaments made me a little homesick even though when I was growing up our tree had a different "color theme" every year and my mom was NOT into homemade ornaments on the tree. She is very into matching.

So we're trimming the tree and ooohing and aahhing over the extensive ornament collection and Justin says, "Hey Bran, hand me that?"

I handed the ornament in question over and his roommate who was playing some great Diana Krall Christmas goodness on his computer goes, "What did you say? What did you just call Brandy?"

I smile, "He said Bran--sometimes people call me that."

"Ooooooh okay," he roommate replies.

"What did you think he said?" I ask.

"Oh I thought he was calling you Baby Brown."

Just so everyone knows, my new nickname is DEFINITELY Baby Brown.

Questions

Workin'

Also thanks to a typo I made while having another g-chat conversation earlier I found out that when your fingers accidentally add a "d" to "homeboy", you get "homebody" which is doesn't really go with the sentence, "Hate the game, not the player, homeboy."

Forgot how much I loved this!!

I think I first saw this movie when I was 9 or 10 and you have no idea how excited I was about 16 because I just KNEW that I was probably a witch too.

Thanksgiving was fabulous. The food was amazing, the company enchanting, and I got to wear my beautiful new coat. The best part of Thanksgiving was the 4 days off from work. There is nothing I love more than lounging on my couch at 2:30pm on a weekday afternoon. On Friday my roommate and I went to get a Christmas tree and on the way we passed the movies and happily detoured into Four Christmases. I think my roommate and I still get along after 4 years because we both kind of loved Four Christmases and are not ashamed to admit we paid money to see it. Afterward we were feeling even more Christmas-y and we picked out an amazing tree. It's BEAUTIFUL. It's also kind of big which I love. To an idea of scale you should know that my roommate is like 5'10.



As a side note, I was just watching an INSANE documentary on National Geographic channel about meth addicts and it was REALLY intense so I had to turn it to the repeat of last week's Real Housewives of Orange County. PS LOVE GRETCHEN.