The Atlanta Housewives are back

Life is good.

Well not that good because I am home sick from work today. But being able to watch last night's episode this morning was pretty fantastic. I had so many favorite moments but perhaps my favorite line was from Sheree. I hated her last season and I still think she and the Lady Chablis are identical twins but last night I became a Sheree lover. You see...Sheree is having a party to celebrate being Sheree. So she hired a party planner and said party planner turned out to suck. They have an argument that escalates to the party planner having to be escorted from the room and saying something to the effect of "Fuck yo mama!" Then in her interview Sheree explains that she is a Cleveland girl and that her Cleveland almost came out when that party planner got in her face. She was about to have "call Pookie and them." Maybe it's because I'm black, maybe it's because there are at least to members of my extended family who are called Pookie, but I died laughing at this and it made me really heart Sheree.

In other "What's Brandy been watching on TV news":

• I'm on season 3 of Dexter and it just keeps getting better. Please watch
• I dedicated a few hours of my life to watching SoapNet's original "docudrama" Southern Belles: Louisville. Not much to say about it--the characters were completely unrelateable and the prettiest one of them seemed hellbent on dating the most disgusting guys. However the fact that I watched it does in fact prove that I will usually watch anything about a group of best friends doing shit together and talking shit about each other. What can I say? I like best friend shows!
• Toddlers and Tiaras. I don't care how you feel about pageants and/or reality shows. If you like to laugh and also feel amazingly appalled at the same time, this is the show for you. You basically can't find a pageant mom who is not crazy. And I say this because LITTLE GIRL PAGEANTS ARE CRAZYTOWN. That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it. And every episode of this show reaffirms my thesis. The last episode was pretty fabulous and probably the best line was from the 10 year old bitch diva in training who said, "When I'm at home, I'm Madison. But when I'm that stage? I'm Tootie." (Yes her mother let her go through with this)
• NYC Prep. I know I know. I SWORE I was not going to watch this bullshit but I am been roped in!! It's so terrible that it's kind of .....wonderful. However I feel bad blogging about it because I would talk so much shit about those kids and then feel badly because they are so young. If there is a marathon of it on Bravo sometime--I suggest tuning in for an episode or 2

Also--I'm hosting a comedy show next week as well as performing in one on Sunday. I'm very excited to be doing comedy again. I'll be posting more info about the shows soon!!

UPDATE: found the clip of the Sheree fight! Enjoy.

C'est AWESOME

I know I should write more but....this is too great not to post.

MY day just got made

I love youtube and I really love Jill and Kevin

Georgia

I'm home in Henry County this weekend.

I got a last minute cheap ticket on Wednesday and here I am, in my dad's home office on the computer, sitting by a big window that overlooks the backyard and the Little House--the shed my dad built when I was in 4th grade--when I was in 6th grade I decided that I could maybe fix it up and live there because at the time I couldn't imagine not living near my mom and dad. I've been up since 8 and reading in my favorite spot on the deck. I'm on the last book of the Sookie Stackhouse series. Praise Alan Ball for making those books into True Blood.

My flight yesterday morning was at 6am. This might sound awful to some but I like to fly early--sleeping on the plane is the only way to fly. My roommate was also flying out of Laguardia so we got a car service together with a coupon that's been on our fridge for months. So we were both very happy and surprised when we went outside at 4:30am and a small Russian man was waiting to pick us up in a very nice, very new black Mercedes. We were chauferred in record time to our respective terminals in this very classy car for the very nice price of $30 including tip.

The airport was a madhouse but I was only slghtly annoyed. I don't mind being 2 hours early for my flight and having to sit around because I always assume that the airport will be packed and full of insane people who don't do any kind of preparation before asking dumb questions about their printed out tickets and whether or not they have to take their shoes off. I come armed with at least 2 books, 3 magazines, a crossword puzzle and a few pudcasts of Fresh Air. I'd checked in online thank god but had to endure 45 minutes of the security check. I made it to my gate with time to spare only to find out that I didn't have a seat on the overbooked flight. So I was put on a flight that was 2 hours later and Delta also threw in a first class seat on that flight as well as a $200 voucher towards my next trip on their lovely airline.

So....for $137 (which is what I paid for the original round-trip ticket) I got a 1st class seat, $200 for a future flight and I still managed to get to Atlanta by 10am.

It's nice when things like this happen.

Saturday was a good day. I saw my nieces and they lit up my life as usual. Madisyn is so cute I want to scream and Kailyn and Amme are turning into actual people before my eyes. I taught Kailyn Phase 10 and made another fan. I also told her about how she is a big hit in my comedy routine--I've told her this before but now I think she finally got it. I think this because as I was talking her eyes lit up and she said, "So in New York I'm kind of famous??"

I had several hilarious conversations with the girls and I'm happy to note that Amme has just as big of an imagination as Kailyn. We talked about the Jonas Brothers (Kailyn loves Nick and to quote her: "I think he's so cute Bran and I don't even care that his has diabetes.) We talked about their summer camp at nursery school and all the kids they have issues with. Amme's current bffs are Trinity and London and she HATES Micah. Why? "Because I don't LIKE her Bran--she's always trying to be my friend!" Kailyn however, begged to differ--"Amme London is ALWAYS talking about you!" "No Kailyn. London is my FRIEND!"

I'd like to take this moment to mention that Kailyn's best friend at school is named Charlene. I had a laugh about this was unable to effectively communicate why I thought a 7 year old named Charlene was funny.

In other news, my dad is preparing for the emminent moving in of my stepmom and stepsister. Next week is the week. It's weird to think that my stepsister will move into my old room and that it will be her room now. I haven't lived in my house for 10 years but I'm still a little sad that it will be different. Things change, life moves on, and a 28 year old working New York woman shouldn't be getting sentimental about a room that hasn't even contained the furniture she grew up with for at least 7 years.

Last night we all celebrated one of my cousin's birthdays at Dave and Busters--it was nice because I got to see everyone in my family at once. It was hell because it was full of teenagers and babies. I did carry Madisyn around for awhile so that people could get a good look at her and see that she was definitely the cutest baby they'd ever seen. She's also a total ham and as soon as someone looks at her she starts laughing and grinning. She does the same thing when she sees herself in the mirror. So even though she's only 13 months I think she's well aware that she's super adorable.

Home is good. I'm glad I'm here. Georgia has its flaws but being here calms me down and helps me focus. I need to remember that I have a family here who loves me and misses me. I didn't realize it would be so hard to be away from them for such a long time but I see now why people like to live close to their kin.


I needed a minute away from New York and my 6th floor walk-up and feeling like if I am at home and not doing anything I'm wasting my NYC time.


I'm going back out to deck now to read and not check my email for a few hours. And I'm not going to feel bad about it. I'm in the South now. And I'm taking it slow.

Just watched the Michael Jackson memorial

And when his daughter came to the mic I cried at work for the first time.

It was an intense moment and I hope that all the haters who only see MJ as what he became in later life will now see that we know and knew nothing about him.

And that he was a good Daddy.


I think I might cry again!! And also I'm calling my own Daddy asap.

Today has been kind of perfect.

First off, being off of work is amazing. I know in these hard economic times, I shouldn't be complaining about working since I have a job and this isn't really a complaint--more just an appreciation for seeing my home at 2pm on a Friday. I slept in til almost noon. Sleeping in on a weekday is one of the greatest pleasures in life.

After luxuriating in the knowledge that I had nothing at all planned for the day, I decided that shopping was in order. I had a hunch there was something cute to be found so I wandered around the LES and came home with a brand new onesie. I love it when my hunches are on point.

I spent a few hours on the roof in the late afternoon sun and caught up with 3 issues of The New Yorker. I always feel a little helpless after reading the New Yorker. I learn about all sorts of interesting and at times extremely fucked up things: (i.e. this, this, and this for starters). But I always feel like the things that are fucked up are fucked up on such a massive level that there's not much I can do about it. Reading about high level government fuckery and knowing that short of running for office there's not much I can do is enough to drive a girl insane.

Another high point of today was watching TV--I am now on season 2 of Dexter. I have been meaning to start watching and finally did last week and I'm hooked. It's a really great show and totally worth checking out. It's funny but so dark. It's so weird to be rooting for a serial killer. But he's just such a great character! I liked Six Feet Under but wasn't really that obsessed. But I am completely obsessed with Michael C. Hall now. The casting on the show is just amazing and I LOVE Julie Benz and Jennifer Carpenter.

My cousin sent me these pics and they definitely added to making this day amazing.

And currently, I'm on my way out to get some sushi and take a walk around the Lower East Side as this beautiful day draws to a close. I have been very into enjoying my solitude lately and my roommate surprised me when I got home from shopping by being packed and ready to go away for the weekend, leaving me the apartment to myself. And tomorrow is the 4th of July, quite possibly my favorite holiday. I hope that doesn't make me a right wing patriot nutcase. But I do own an American Flag bikini.....and since I'm confessing you should also know that junior year of college my roomate and I decorated one wall of our living room with a huge American Flag tapestry.

Happy 4th of July!!


Cash that check!!!

I need to go to Wildwood

Because it is full of the funniest people ever.





It's funny because it's real. If you'll excuse me...I need to go and do the following before I get on NJ Transit:

• Fight a bitch (but not tell my boyfriend because he doesn't like that shit)
• Find the bitch who put a gun to my back and kill her
• Paint on my eyebrows
• Tease my permed hair and make sure my roots show
• Find a summer boyfriend with a mullet who's just really different...you know different.
  
• Get some nails
• Get a shirt with open shoulders and short sleeves
• Find Dave so I can tell him to not have people call the payphone if he's not going to be there to pick up
  
• And last but not least, I need to CASH THAT CHECK, preferably with someone I meet on the boardwalk