afternoon surprise

So I moved to a new desk at work today. I was in the middle of unpacking all my former cube stuff into my new cube and listening to my Gaga/Ke$ha/Rihanna playlist on low when I feel a big chunk of snot come out of my nose. I grab a tissue and blot. I then see that it's not snot. It's blood. And now it's pouring out of my nose. The tissue was soaked. I run to the bathroom praying that no one sees me with my bloody hand over my nose. It was sick. There was blood in my mouth, in the hand. Thank GOD it didn't get on my shirt or jeans--just my Wal-Mart uggs. I make it to the bathroom with no one seeing me (I hope) and there I preceded to freak the fuck out.

I do not get nosebleeds. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I got a full-on nosebleed. And no I haven't done in nose candy treats--if I had I wouldn't be blogging about this OR freaking out about it because I would have been like goddamn that eight ball. So I freak out because I'm not a person who ever really gets sick even. Embarrassing confession: I had perfect attendance from kindergarten to graduation. In my old age, I've been prone to colds more but at most I'm out for only a day or so.

So I freaked out and I'm just going through paper towels like they're made of air or something. I'm positive that I'm going to die and all I can think is, "I can't believe I'm going to bleed to death at work. This is such a surprise." It was so scary. And since I was freaking out I did was any freaked out youngish single adult in New York would do.

I called my roommate.

Her advice was to just tilt my head back and calm down because "people get nosebleeds Brandy, it's okay." Then one of my coworkers came in and was so super nice to me--she went to the kitchen and got me ice and napkins and suggested that I lay on the couch in the bathroom with my head back. "I have an 8-year-old--this one is not that bad." I'd like to note that since I am so completely unfamiliar with what to do in a nosebleed situation, I'd never even thought of tilting my head back or laying on the couch. I was hyperventilating instead and staring at my crazy bloody face in the mirror and explaining to the girl washing her hands when I burst in that I was not contagious or anything and that I promised to clean up any spilled blood.

I never want to have another nosebleed again.

Especially not at work.


In unrelated but important and sad news if you haven't already and you can, please donate to the Haiti relief effort. I don't even know how to feel about what's going on down there. It's like to feel sad just isn't enough.

And for the record, the terrible things that awful conservative assholes have been saying about it make me want to believe in the crazy evangelical Christian version of hell.

In happier news, thanks to everyone who came out to the show last night!! It was a really good time and I felt good on stage. God I love having a microphone in my hand.